Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
