whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
