im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
