Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize