I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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