No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Two words: nipple clamps
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