There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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