margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize