didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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