im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
there's paper in my vomit.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
