Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
