At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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