What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
