I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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