Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
