Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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