They should really pass out barf bags in church
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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