Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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