Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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