Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
