i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize