So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
