I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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