I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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