i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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