Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
