I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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