Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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