I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
