I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
