my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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