You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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