i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
