You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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