she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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