I want to stick my p in your. b.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
