my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
