If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
