Where is the hickey?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
