Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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