Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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