dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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