My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
