My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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