She announced her abortion via fbk
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
