how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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