Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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