i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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