is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
