i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
