I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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