i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Found your dick twin last night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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